woke up this morning with burning throat, pounding head, aching heart. realized that no matter how stubborn i might be, there was no going into school today. again.
now, really, a day off is a day off in the positive sense, always, but i'm eager to get back in the classroom rhythm as i've been out of it since the start of our holiday break, and learning how to acknowledge a real need for a day off, to recognize when pushing through isn't the answer, and isn't even the expectation that i feel exists in the workplace, in the world-- what a challenge for me!
so i stared my compulsive need to gogogo right in the face, and crawled back into to bed to sleep, even as the day was breaking brightly...
and i know how silly this seems, but it's a strange part of my until-now story, a hiccup in the expected and accepted smoothness in the song, that's starting not to sound so sweet in its monotony...so to be content in this discomfort-- this is what gave me food for thought today, and the space and time in which to really dwell in it a little.
by the afternoon, i felt strong, and in need of focus and so i moved into a vigorous, and then restorative hour and a half long practice in my sunset-soaked living room.
as the day closes, i'm physically feeling better-- and in my heart? better also. i'm going to bed with the lullaby of this fabulous song-- brought to my attention by the beautiful bettina...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfJAh6hrCzw
"may the grace of god be with you always in your heart
may you know the truth inside you from the start
may you find the strength to know that you are part of something beautiful."
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